A Permission Slip for Holiday Grief
We are officially in “the most wonderful time of the year.”
The carols have started. The tinsel is up. The world is shouting at us. It demands that we be merry. It insists we be joyful.
But what if you’re not?
What if this season, for you, is weighed down?
It feels like a quiet, heavy blanket of grief. Perhaps you are navigating the first holiday without a loved one. Perhaps you are grieving a dream that didn’t come true this year. Maybe a friendship ended. Maybe a season of life has passed.
The Loneliness of the Season
It is one of the loneliest feelings in the world.
You do not feel yourself. The rest of the world is sparkling in red and green. It is so easy to feel guilty. You feel broken. You feel like you are “ruining” the joy for everyone else.
I just want to say this from me to you
Your heart is not broken. It is just sad. And that is so, so okay.
The Man of Sorrows
Our faith is not one that demands a fake performance of joy.
Our Saviour, Jesus, was called a “man of sorrows.” He was acquainted with grief. He wept. He understood.
The first Christmas itself was not a loud, bright party. It was a quiet, humble affair. It was even dangerous. It happened in the dark of night.
Your honest grieving heart is the most holy “inn” you can offer Him.
He meets you right where you are. He meets you in the mess. He meets you in the sadness. That is the true comfort. That is the true joy.
yOUR pROMPTS
Prompts for a Grieving Heart
Use your journal to find a safe space for your sadness.
- Permission to be Honest: “The one ‘holiday’ feeling I feel pressured to have is… The feeling that is ACTUALLY in my heart today is…”
- A Quiet Memory: “What is one simple, quiet memory of the person/dream I am missing? I will hold it with gratitude. Just for a moment.”
- Redefining “Joy”: “What if ‘joy’ this season isn’t about being ‘merry’? What if it’s about finding a moment of ‘quiet peace’? What if it is ‘soft grace’? What if it is ‘deep comfort’?”
- A Prayer for Grace: “Lord, please give me the grace to be kind with myself. The one thing I need to get through TODAY is…”
yOUR ACTION POINT
Your “Permission Slip”
Your only job is to be soft with yourself.
- Open your journal to a clean page.
- Write this sentence at the top:“I, [Your Name], have full permission to feel whatever I am truly feeling. I am allowed to be quiet. I am allowed to be sad. My only job is to be soft within my own heart.”
The next time the pressure to “be joyful” feels too heavy, simply open your journal. Read this page.
Let it be your anchor.
Take care, Debbera
