Finding the Holy Longing behind the sting
It happens in an instant.
You are scrolling. You are talking with a friend. Then you see her.
She is living a life that looks so beautiful. She is creative. Her faith seems so vibrant. Her home is so peaceful. Her calling seems so clear.
The Sting and The Shame
You feel it. That hot, sharp, familiar sting in your chest.
It is envy.
It is immediately followed by shame.
“I’m a bad Christian.” “I’m not supposed to covet.” “I should be happy for her.”
We try to crush the feeling. We push it down. We pretend it isn’t there.
Consider this.
What if that feeling isn’t just a sin to be crushed? What if it is also a signal to be read?
Misplaced Longing
What if that sting of envy is just a “holy longing”? It has simply been misplaced.
Often, when we feel envy, we don’t really want her exact life. We don’t want her struggles. We don’t want her path.
What we want is the feeling we imagine she has.
We want the creativity. We want the peace. We want the purpose.
That longing is not a sin. It is a God-given desire.
It is a “holy longing” He planted in you. Envy just happens when we point that God-given longing at someone else’s life. We should be pointing it at our own.
Untangling the Knots
Your journal is the safe, private place to do this holy work.
You can untangle the “envy” from the “inspiration.” You can ask God how He wants to fulfill that holy longing. He will do it in His unique, beautiful way. He will do it just for you.
yOUR pROMPTS
Prompts for “Holy Longing”
Use these prompts to turn the sting into a signpost.
- Name the Sting (No Shame): “Whose gift, calling, or season am I feeling that ‘sting’ of envy over right now? I will write it down without judgment.”
- Flip the Envy: “What is the beautiful, good thing (the ‘holy longing’) that this feeling is pointing to? (for example, Do I want her house? Or do I want her peace?)”
- Make it Yours: “God, thank you for this ‘holy longing.’ How can I cultivate my own unique, quiet version of [creativity/peace/purpose]? How can I do it right where I am? How can I do it this week?”
- The “Bless & Release” Prayer: “Lord, I release my envy of her path. I ask You to bless her. Bless her truly. Bless her deeply. And now, I ask You to open my eyes to the first step of my path.”
yOUR ACTION POINT
Your Action Point: The “Bless & Pivot” Practice
The next time you feel that hot sting of envy, do not spiral. Your action is to Stop, Bless and Pivot.
- Stop: Acknowledge the feeling. Don’t scroll past it.
- Bless: In your mind, or in a whisper, say a one-sentence prayer.
- “God, bless her. Thank you for the good work you are doing in her.”
- (This breaks the power of envy immediately.)
- Pivot: Open your journal. Write one sentence about your “holy longing.”
This pivots your focus from her story back to yours.
With grace, Debbera
