A Journaling Guide to Holiday Family Dynamics

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A Journaling Guide to Holiday Family Dynamics

Peace not Performance

As we step closer to the holiday season, many of us feel a strange, quiet tension.

We love our families. We long for connection.

But we can also dread it.

We dread the old, worn-out conversations. We brace for that one critical comment. We prepare to become the “peacemaker” in the middle of a family conversation.

If you are an introvert, lo and behold, it is exhausting.

The Guilt of the Glue

We feel guilty for this.

We think we’re supposed to be “better” Christians. We think we should be endlessly patient. We think we have to be the “glue.”

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

rOMANS 12:18

Read that again.

“If it is possible.” “As far as it depends on YOU.”

A Holy Permission Slip

This is your permission slip.

It does not say, “You must fix everyone.” It does not say, “You are responsible for everyone’s feelings.”

It says your only job is to be a person of peace.

You are not responsible for the outcome. You are only responsible for your offering.

You are the “thermostat,” not the “thermometer.” (We talked about this here).

Your journal is where you set your “peace” before you walk in the door.

yOUR pROMPTS

Prompts for a “Thermostat” Heart

Use these prompts to put on your armor.

  • Name the Dread: “As I think about the holidays, what is the one dynamic, person, or comment that makes my shoulders tighten?”
  • Separate the “Yours” vs. “Theirs”: “What is their ‘stuff’ that I am not responsible for? What is my ‘stuff’ (my reaction, my peace) that I am responsible for?”
  • The Anchor Prayer: “What is my simple, one-sentence ‘anchor prayer’? What can I breathe in my heart when I feel the tension rising?”
  • A Prayer of Intention: “Lord, my only goal is not to ‘win’ or ‘fix.’ My only goal is to be a quiet, non-anxious presence of Your love. Help me do just that.”

yOUR ACTIONS POINTS

Your Action Point: The “Sacred Shield”

You need a ritual for the transition.

  1. Pause. Before you go to a family gathering, find 3 minutes. Sit in your car. Or lock yourself in the bathroom.
  2. Touch. Place one hand on your heart.
  3. Pray. Pray your “Anchor Prayer” Take three deep breaths.
  4. Visualize. Imagine God’s quiet, safe peace surrounding you. It is like a soft, warm “shield.”

You are not walking in unprotected.

You are walking in cloaked in His peace.

With love, Debbera